I admire people who get married at a young age. Because they have struggles of not only the typical couple of money and family but also the struggles of immaturity and trust and not knowing what you want out of life. Maybe I just admire people who get married period. Some people find it out early on, what they want, who they want. I think how much I've learned in the past decade about relationships and what makes them work and what breaks them apart. I always believed in the fairytale that love conquers all. And it really doesn't. You can love someone while they break your heart and that's not a relationship. And that's definitely not a fairytale.
I can't say that what I wanted at twenty is that much different from what I want now out of life or love. I want adventure and excitement. I want to fall in love, be swept off my feet. But I know now falling in love doesn't come from one person trying to make it work all the time. It doesn't come from making excuses and painting the pretty picture of how it should look. It comes from both battling through the ugly and enjoying the pretty, not one or the other. Falling in love has taken a long time to realize.
I want someone I can stand by and be happy with and unafraid to argue with. Someone I trust to be on my side. I want someone who thinks there's nothing I can't do. Earlier on in life I just wanted to love someone. And I should've known that was the easiest part. The rest is the challenge. To accept someone to come into your already happy life and promise you the world, it's hard not to hesitate for a minute and think what if that promise turns out to be too big for them?
It's the big picture and it's the details. The promises but also the willingness to try. I'm not perfect. My husband won't be either. But I'm pretty sure we will be perfect for each other. And that's reality and a fairytale all rolled into one.
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